New Year, New Resolutions

I have been avoiding making any sort of resolutions this year.

I just think that, from my track record, I set myself up for failure when I make resolutions. So I didn’t want to make any this year, I just wanted to go with the flow. But then I find myself subconsciously making efforts to change things. And realized I was making resolutions, even if I wasn’t admitting it to myself. So in the light of that, I put together a short, general list of things I’d like to accomplish this year:

1) Feel better about myself. This is a big one for me. I’m getting married sometime in the next year or so, I want to be happy with myself on my wedding. I don’t have a number in mind, or a shape, I just want to feel better. I will be trying to eat healthier and working out to give myself more natural energy, but it’s mostly a mental thing of learning to be happy with myself. That being said, the lowest number I ever weighed was 130. That’s not horribly skinny, especially for someone of my lack-of-height at 5’3.5″. In fact, at the time, I wasn’t even happy with that. It’s only after I look back on pictures of that time that I realize I was as small as I was. I’m not going to obsess over that number, but it would be nice if – through the course of things – I could reach that again.

2) Be more creative. This applies to both my personal and professional life. I am fortunate enough to do what I love for a living, but I want to be more creative in my own personal time. I want to do art for the sake of doing art, play my piano and violin more often, sing again without being afraid the neighbors can hear me, write more stories and lose myself in them.

3) Do more. This is a very general goal, I realize, but it what it means is exactly that – I want to do more. Travel. Leave the house. Go for walks, look at the stars, have adventures. I enjoy a lazy weekend as much, if not more, than the average person but I am beginning to realize how much I’m missing out on by spending every weekend in doors, relaxing. I want to take extracurricular activities and make friends to do these things with.

In light of these, I brought out my 100 Things to Do Before I Die list and dusted it off. I completed the 7 items I was missing and I am ready to start chasing those goals, as well. Some of them I have already completed in the time since writing that list. I got a strange sense of satisfaction when writing the list that there were thing I would have put on there, a few years back, but that I’ve already done. I’ve been to Ireland, a goal of mine since I was a child. I went to Stonehenge. I’ve swam with stingrays in the Caribbean, I also went snorkeling over the coral reef. I’ve taken a train ride across half the country. I’ve taken multiple road trips  by myself. I’ve been to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I’ve gotten tattoos, I’ve danced in the rain, I’ve had my design work published. It was a bit of a morale boost, when reading this list and realizing that I was already living my life as though I was checking off those goals.

It’s time to get back to that. It’s time to be happier with the now.

2013 was a great year for meeting milestones. 2014 will be the year of adventures.

Lucky ’13.

I usually consider the number’s 11 and 7 to be lucky for me.

I don’t have any proof of that, or anything. Besides always making a wish at 11:11, I think I just like them as numbers. I’ve also never been superstitious of the number 13. It had never done anything to me, despite it being commonly considered an unlucky number to be avoided.

The number 11 let me down. In 2011, I had the most difficult life of my year. I couldn’t wait for that year to be over – it started December 31, 2010 when we held an unsuccesful New Years party at our house. It ended with me crawling into bed at 3 am and saying, “This better not be a sign of the year to come.” Nine days later, The Boy and I were in a terrible car accident. And the rest of the year followed, with more injuries, deaths, loss and heartache. It ended on December 31, 2011 when my niece ended up in the hospital with a concussion.

2012 came and went, with its own fair share of difficulties and bumps along the way.

I didn’t give much thought to 2013 when it began. It progressed fairly uneventful until September, when I graduated. And then October, when I got engaged. And then November, when I got a job. It hasn’t been a perfect year, there has been heartache. There always will be. But in the grander scheme of things, ’13 has been fairly lucky for me.

Here’s hoping 2014 continues this positive rise.

To continue the theme, I rang in the year lucky-white-cat style. (Makes sense, right? Black cats = bad luck, white cats = good?)